Tag: psalm

Faithful

Good morning, friends. I hope you are enjoying your Saturday morning so far. I am sitting here this morning, Bible in hand (well, Bible open on the couch and pen and coffee in hand at this very moment), reflecting on my year. I am headed off to Savannah for an annual work conference this week that happened right around this time last year. What a difference a year has made.

I saw a friend’s Instagram post after the Great American Solar Eclipse. Her simple comment referencing the picture was so profound. She viewed the eclipse from Florida; and as anyone else that did the same from south Georgia or Florida knows, the picture was a bunch of clouds. Some grey, some white, but all just clouds. Her comment said something along the lines of [paraphrasing] “We didn’t see the Eclipse, but I know God was performing a miracle right behind the clouds.”

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55:8

We serve an amazing God who knows, sees and has authority over all things. Just take the miracle of the eclipse for example; still amazing and significant even when unseen. He orchestrates things in our life outside of our power and understanding, even when we can’t see it happening.

Back to my reflection on this time last year..

I was in a tough place. Still wrapped up in a previous relationship that I should have allowed myself release from. Please don’t misunderstand, I thank God for that relationship because it taught me things about myself and Jesus that I treasure today. But the time for me to let go had come, and as usual *eyeroll*, I was refusing; exposing myself to new pain each day that I clung. I was directionless at the time, with no idea what was to come next in my life as far as purpose. I felt captive to my anxiety and fear. I remember laying in that hotel room bed, feeling lost and unsure of what to do to change my situation.

Through this year, as I have shared in previous posts, God has worked miracles in my life. Ones that probably seem small to a onlooker, but have moved mountains for me.

Today, I write while my precious significant other sits on the other end of the couch playing a video game (the manly kind of course *wink). I actually sat down to reflect and write because of his influence. This man is a God-send. If I could have pieced together a heart to compliment mine, it would be his. But to tell you the truth, we got together under tough circumstances. Really tough. The beautiful thing is, God took a broken situation and covered it in grace. So today, I sit here with this man overwhelmed with gratitude for God’s eclipse behind the clouds.

What else? I have direction. I may be unsure of my day to day steps right now, but I have vision of a career purpose and how to get there. I can honestly say if I had not walked through mental hell this year, I would not have come to this place of clarity concerning who I am and what I want. Thank you Jesus!

Anxiety and fear- the demon twins. To be honest, I am still in a back and forth with these two. I am in a valley season right now and its really hard. But, I have peace in knowing God is fighting for me. When I have exhausted all my efforts, He still stands strong. I will eventually defeat it for good; I am speaking and believing that this morning. In the meantime, I praise God for the victories in the daily battles and pray for peace in the losses.

“But I have trusted in Your unfailing love; My heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” Pslam 13:5-6

God works, even when we don’t see it friends. He always loves and always calls to us. I am praying for a mental victory today and thankful for the clarity and joy I have in Him. I  am praying for your need to be met, whatever that is.

Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and thank you friends for reading today.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

Held

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9

I remember a moment of complete brokenness that I experienced some years back. Reflecting on it now, I remember how it felt to come undone. I was 22 years old. In that moment, I realized I had lost the guy that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We had broken up a few days before but the reality that it was over did not set in until that phone call. The moment he ended the call– I was lost. I sobbed and yelled “No” repetitively. I think that is all I knew to do. I crumbled onto the living room couch.

I idolized planning back then. I had lists for my lists and mapped out every detail of my life. Then, in that moment, the plan was ruined. I loved that boy to my core. As frustrated as I had grown with the relationship, I was so dedicated to the life I believed we would have. My world felt like it had been ripped out from under me.

Moments after my breakdown began, my brother came downstairs and witnessed my devastation. He heard my wailing from his room upstairs. He said nothing; he just reached down to me, lifted me up onto his lap, and held me. Just held me. That moment, as dark as it was, will always be the best moment I have shared with my little brother. Reflecting on it now brings tears to my eyes. Not tears of sadness, I have completely healed and been restored of everything that I considered loss that day; thank you Jesus. They are tears of gratitude and humility for that special moment. He transitioned from little brother to protector and has maintained that role, in my mind, ever since.

I understand that this story sounds more like a diary entry than a scripture study. However, I decided to go this route today because of what God is doing in my life right now. I want to testify on His behalf. This story is a perfect real-life illustration of the unconditional love and faithfulness of God.

He is so faithful. I’ve walked away from Him, disrespected Him, and sinned against Him. Yet, He never leaves me broken. If I allow the world to get me there, I can call on Him and He heals me. It looks different each time, sometimes immediate and others a longer process. But, He always does. He holds me when I come undone. When I crumble in despair, just like Devin did, He reaches down, picks me up and holds me closely. He whispers truth in my ear, “I love you child. Get up child, you are a victor. I’ve got you beloved.”

He is holding me now. I am in a much better place than I have been in the past. But right now, I am battling fear. Fear of an uncertain future, fear of being alone and fear of rejection. I am right in the middle of it. But friends, He is holding me. He is right here in the with me. Taking on every question, cry and confused prayer; whispering words of truth in my ear. I am not reporting on my deliverance from these things…yet. I am testifying to His presence in the now.

I love Jesus. Honestly, I consider myself a pretty tolerant person but I would have given up on me a long time ago. He doesn’t though, isn’t it amazing? He loves me, He holds me. When I am together, He celebrates with me and guides me. When I am undone, He holds me and breathes life into my decaying heart. I imagine in the spiritual realm, it looks a lot like what my brother did for me that day.

So thank you Taz for being the big little brother that I needed. Thank you Father for loving me so.

“I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91: 2