Tag: #biblestudy

The burden of the busy

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” John 14: 1

I am trying not to let my heart be troubled. I have been doing a lot of stuff to avoid being troubled, actually; keeping myself so busy to try to regain control and the state of balance (which I have decided is a figment of my imagination during this life season).

I feel like a hamster on his wheel. Running in place. Making gains, only to look up and see how much more there is to do.

In my last post, I referenced changes that were necessary for my family. Well, the decisions have been made and we are embracing the changes. These consist of me going back to work full-time and an impending move for my whole family.

I stopped working full-time a few months back for my own health. Mental and physical. I got to a rough place, and instead of tending to that, I kept powering through. This affected my education (I am currently attaining a MSW), my marriage and my social connections as well as my own health. I have healed a lot in the last couple of months, but since realizing I had to go back full-time, I have had this little nagging thought, “What if it happens again? What if I am not ready?” This particular job that I will be doing, though I am SO thankful for the opportunity, comes with an additional time sacrifice from my son that I have not yet had to make to this extent since he has been born. I know how fortunate I am to be able to say that, but I am still nervous about how it will impact us both (that #momlife). Then of course, the aforementioned move. I think most of you know all the fear that goes into that.

So, to prepare for the coming changes, I have set out to do everything. Literally. Prepare, prepare, prepare. I have completely idolized the busy. Reflecting this morning, I see it. It is like I reverted right back to that state of busy that made this last year so difficult on me and my family. I have traded peace for the possibility of control. Knowing, the concept of having control is impossible, considering I lack to power to do so. Why? What is peace worth?

It is priceless.

Peace is certainly worth more than fake control. What am I doing? Conviction is raining heavy this morning, friends.

I kept reading John chapter 14, where Jesus is comforting his disciples. You can find this conversation in John 14:1-14. I noticed after reading, I noted these two things in my journal: John 14:1: “Trust me.” John 14:6: “I am the way.”

Jesus is telling me this morning, “Trust me because I am the way.”

The way to a fulfilling marriage. The way to a healthy home. The way to close communion. The way to peace.

I cannot attain these things with the busy. I cannot infuse peace in my own life. I can only seek it out from the source. That is not the busy, friends. It is Jesus.

Lord, thank you for this word of comfort and help remind me every moment of every day that this is the goodness you offer in accepting you. I can trust you because you are the way. You are I AM.

Jesus wept.

Good morning friends! I hope this post finds you smiling and enjoying your morning, whatever that may look like.

I am still reading through John, as I have a few times in my life, and discovering new messages and characteristics of Jesus along the way. God’s word is fascinating like that. It is so packed with wisdom; I can learn multiple things from a single verse or phrase.

Today, I read through chapter 11. This chapter covers the death of Lazarus and his resurrection through Jesus. It is some pretty incredible stuff, packed with emotion, imagery, and a full-on miracle. There was one chunk of verses though that stopped me right in the middle of reading and acted as my own little “I love you” from Jesus.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. John 33-35

To set the stage, Jesus was friends with the sibling group Lazarus, Mary, and Martha. Lazarus was sick and had died while Jesus was only a short distance away. Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick in plenty of time for Jesus to come immediately and save him from death by physical healing. However, Jesus stayed where he was for two more days. Once Jesus started on his way, he knew Lazarus was dead. Today, we know that his waiting was purposeful. But take a moment to empathize with Mary and Martha in that moment.

What were they feeling?

Well, if it were me, I would be absolutely irate; admittedly just as I have felt toward God when he did not respond in the way I believed appropriate. I do not say this lightly. I have experienced things in this life that left me feeling angry at God for not showing up how I wanted him to in moments of need. I imagine you have as well, my friends.

When Jesus arrived in town, Martha ran out to greet him. Mary did not. Now, when Martha approached him, she quickly informed him that he could have stopped this tragedy from happening. They discussed who Jesus is and, in this dialogue, it is evident her faith in him was intact. She was heartbroken and could have been angry (I do not know from scripture), but she sought him out and remained faithful. Then, she went to get Mary to bring her to Jesus.

Mary took some coaxing; she did not immediately greet Jesus. It made me wonder what her thoughts were; if she avoided him out of anger, maybe confusion, or even because she doubted him. We don’t know, we can only speculate. If it were me, I think I would have felt a bit of all three. There have been times in life that I was broken and instead of running to Jesus baring my wound and eager to engage with him, I avoided him.

Thank you, God for the Marthas in my life that pulled me to him in those times.

When Mary got to Jesus, she fell at his feet and cried. The scripture depicts that all she said was, “Lord if you had been here my brother would not have died.” It’s Jesus’ reaction in the next few verses that grabbed ahold of my heart.

He saw Mary weep, broken, and was deeply moved and troubled. In response, he wept. Jesus wept…with Mary. The onlookers at the time noted his emotional response and attributed it to how he felt about Lazarus. I imagine that attributed greatly to his reaction as well. But when I read this today, I felt the Lord say, “I hurt with you when you hurt.” Not audibly, but this notion just settled over me in that very moment.

Jesus knew exactly what the next few moments following this would hold. He knew Lazarus would live again. He even alluded to it in John 11:14. But, he was moved and troubled in his spirit. I believe he loved Mary so much that he was feeling that pain with her. She was broken, and he felt her brokenness deeply.

Isaiah 55:8 & 9 remind us that God sees what we do not. He anticipates and builds in moments we feel he has forgotten us. Romans 8 reminds us that he works all things for our good. I know these truths by heart, and at the same time have to relearn them over and over. That is the human part of me, I guess.

When I think back on some of those moments of heartache I referenced earlier, I feel so thankful that God responded as he did instead of as I believed he should. God has given me blessings that I could not have imagined at times in my life. Even my most ideal visions for myself would have short-changed me from what God has worked into place. I am so thankful for that. There are some things, though, that I do not understand and have just had to accept that I may never until I meet Jesus in Heaven. I just don’t get now why the pain and loss was necessary.

I am also thankful, though, that Jesus sat with me in that pain. Though he knows better days are ahead, he loves us so much, that he meets us where we are. Even in the ugly. He breaks for us, with us.

I hope this message encourages you, wherever you are today. I hope if it is in one of those excruciating moments that you feel held and known by Jesus, though you do not understand why he is not responding like you believe he should. Know he’s right there in the raw, he is weeping with you, and he has a plan in place to bring goodness to your life. Know he loves you, friends.

Bread for all

Good morning, friends. Its Monday, and though these are often tough to get through, I hope you enjoy yours!

“For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” John 6:33

This morning, I read about Jesus feeding the five thousand people (plus some according to Matthew 14:21) on the mountainside in John chapter 6. Following this miracle, Jesus and the disciples headed out for Capernaum. Many followers met Jesus on the other side of the lake and began to engage with him about the feeding miracle and other miraculous signs. This exchange is what we are going to unpack together today.

Inclusivity. According to Oxford Languages Dictionary, it means “the practice or policy of providing equal access to opportunities and resources for people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized.” God has been laying this concept in my heart lately; the idea that he is an inclusive Father, calling all people to know him. This seems like such a simple concept, and in many ways, it is. However, it seems that our Christian culture often forgets this truth. I believe the enemy uses division to distract the church more often than any other tool. We were created to connect with God and with each other, so what better way to deceive us from our purpose and God’s character than to separate us from both.

In John 6:35, Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” So, to set the stage, during this conversation among Jesus and the followers, he explains to them that he is the bread of life, given by God to man. Jesus is speaking figuratively here. We are physical creatures, and our physical bodies need to eat and drink regularly to survive. Likewise, we are spiritual creatures, and our spirit requires nourishment. This is what Jesus is referencing here when he claims that he can satisfy that spiritual need for nourishment. And oh, how he can my friends!

Verse 57 reads, “Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me.” Jesus came to give us life. Eternal life with the Father, yes; but also, life here on earth. When I say life, I don’t mean this by the definition, the opposite of death. I mean the difference in the notion of ‘being alive’ and really living. Jesus wants to share the goodness of this life with us here on earth as well. He wants to share peace, love, forgiveness and acceptance. Romans chapter eight talks about how God’s intention for us is “good”. Genesis 1:31 tells us that our Creator called us “good”.

So, in summary, Jesus is life and brings life to us. This life that he brings nourishes our spirit and produces love, peace, redemption and acceptance. These products of life through Jesus are good.

Now, where does this idea of inclusivity come in?

In verse 37, Jesus said “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” Never drive away. Jesus does not reject us when we seek to connect with him. He said whoever comes to him is offered this message of acceptance. Notice the only stipulation here is our desire to connect with him. Not whoever comes to me without sin, or whoever comes to me with it all figured out. Nope, just whoever comes.

Why? Well, Jesus tells us in verse 40, “For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.” There is that word I love so much: everyone.

Think back to the story I referenced in the beginning of this post when Jesus fed the five thousand plus. It was miraculous because he did so with five loaves of bread and two fish. Another message I believe he is sharing here, though, is that they all ate. He provided enough for all of them. Not only the men, who were the only ones counted, but the women and children in attendance as well. Meaning, those that man (as in mankind) merited worth counting and those that man did not were all fed.

The Bread of Life can feed us all. We serve an inclusive, loving God who is relentless in reaching for us. For all of us. The only credentialing we need to seek and be found by Jesus is simply being.

Thank you Jesus for grace, love and your seal of ownership on us all.